It almost doesn’t make sense. How exactly does a homeless man produce a music album and a musical stage performance?
I don’t have a recording studio, or even a home for that matter, aside from the one in my heart. Nope. I carry my recording studio in my backpack. No keyboards. No instruments at all except for a rattle and flute, and my voice of course. There’s nothing more high tech than my 2011 MacBook Air. Not even a microphone, aside from my typical inline headphone mic.
I also don’t really have any musical training. I am not an amateur at playing any instrument. I didn’t even really sing anything until about four months ago, as strange as that may seem. As far as I know, I may not even have any talent whatsoever.
Outside of that, I didn’t really have any help creating the music album, as much as I hoped I might. I was fortunate enough to have a quieter place to record than a public park in the city. I also felt pretty lucky if I had food on any given day. At the time I was making the album, I didn’t even really have direct human contact.
What I did have was courage and a mission; to show what it can look like to face one’s shadows, and what can become possible when we become whole by doing so. I had an abundance of pain tucked away in my inner darkness. It was more than enough raw material to shape into art. Most importantly, I had an authentic expression of my being that needed to be shared.
I found my way into my darkness. There I found my voice.
Two weeks later I had produced a 9-track EP, Shadows Illuminated. Looking back, it was kind of a blur of sadness, hunger, writing poetry, learning the depths of Garage Band, and quite honestly, more sadness.
When I listened to what had come from me, it was one of the best moments I can remember, possibly the about closest a man can get to giving birth. Hearing the tracks transformed me to my core. I felt that I had exposed the entirety of my soul to the world; as if there were no secrets left. Take me or leave me, this is who I am, a fully expressed being.
The album resonates with authenticity. It shows the beauty of being human, even in the context of suffering. It reminds us what is possible when we just allow ourselves to be who we are. It dissolves self-imposed limitations, making anything possible. To me, it is utter magic, and potent magic at that.
I slowly emerged from my winter, heading back into the streets. Equipped with this new mojo, I was inspired to bring it to others, which I fully committed myself to. With the assistance of key collaborators, I adapted a script for a musical stage production based on the album. The first performance and my debut live singing performance will take place on April 27th in Seattle. I couldn’t have imagined what was possible before I set out on this path, only four months ago.
I’m not trying to create any false impressions here. It has taken a tremendous amount of effort to come so far.
Aside from meeting the very basic requirements of daily life, like trying to find food and shelter, I have spent almost every waking minute pushing the project forward. There are many moving parts to be tended to, from extensive networking and community generation, through building websites, writing blogs, maintaining an engaged web presence, to frequent daily practices, and on-and-on. The key is that everything I have created is supported from an inner resourcefulness that has come by being true to the commitment in my heart.
I leave you with this parting reflection. When we just accept ourselves, allow ourselves to be who we are, and stay true to our commitments, we can fully realize our gifts.
Now go and be you. The world is waiting.
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