December 18th, 2017 (One Week before Shadows Illuminated the Music Album was published)
When a candle is lit in a dark room, the shadows become distinct from the darkness. A second candle can cast it’s light across the shadows, further illuminating them. So I carried my candle into the darkness and asked the shadow to bring its own.
I consider this album, my first and perhaps only musical creation, a personal masterpiece; especially coming through a poet that always thought that he had no musical ability. I have danced about as many times as I can count on all my digits. I don’t even sing in the shower (I’m sure the towels appreciate this). I do love good music, and have been an avid listener to many genres for most of my life.
Shadows Illuminated is an attempt to bridge my poetry with music to create a very unique and dynamic quality, yet is so much more involved than that. I knew that to honor the vision, I would need to face (embrace) my own shadows. At first I thought that attempting a musical project without experience was an act of courage, but that was cakewalk compared to the creative process I employed, and even more to sharing final versions bluntly in public, without any prior second opinions or feedback. I love a good challenge.
I paused all of my travels and hid myself away during December. In solitude, I took inward. I sat with myself for many days and sifted through my consciousness. It is filled with lifetimes of experience, the intense stories and challenges of an alternate lifestyle lived with unreasonable gusto. I reflected on the countless people that I met that shared their stories with me. I remembered the many downtrodden, neglected, forgotten, and under-appreciated. These people pretty much make up a major part of our society these days.
I sat with the shadows, with all the anger, apathy, neglect, betrayal, jealousy, loneliness and unspoken pains from secret wounds. I sought to express what so many wish that they could, but don’t. I sought to bring my own shadows to light so they may also be illuminated. Much of the album is an artistic expression of my own path, but I have incorporated plenty of ‘fiction’ to make the songs more poignant and more potent.
Apparently my approach was effective enough, for as I released songs, some people actually thought the songs might be about them (probably some real tear-jerkers in there). I also had multiple people reach out to me out of clear concern for my own well-being (thank you for that).
For anyone out there who might have similar concerns, please know that these songs were created for imaginary and archetypal beings. My mental state is near the usual level of --totally already insane--. Shadows Illuminated is just intense and independent art. The comfortable filters of rules, and normalcy are out-the-window. This is the real deal, unbridled and confronting expression. Poetry dancing. Enjoy the dance.
[Laughs] One of my best friends once told me one of the traits they appreciated about me. It was that I was willing to bite off chew (and even swallow) what most people would not even touch (figuratively speaking of course). If nothing else, may this expression be a demonstration of that courage.
One main point is… Break through limits. Anything is possible. If I can create music, most anyone can accomplish almost anything.
You see, I don’t sing due to personal doubt of my own ability. I expect that I have some off-putting tones, that I am frequently off-rhythm or out of key, that there are major aspects to making music that I don’t understand. I’m probably pretty tone-deaf. So I limited myself for my entire life. I didn’t sing. I didn’t dance. Let that sink in.
In order to push past this deeply embedded limitation, I just let go of the idea that I could not sing. Many of my greatest musical influencers and some of the greatest songwriters in history have had unique and even off-putting voices. It does not make their songs any less great. In fact, it gives them a unique sound. So I started singing and recording immediately.
In an expression of courageous conviction, I published the first raw tracks of me singing ‘The Glow Song’ on Soundcloud. The initial results were probably not good, from any normal standpoint, but I grew very excited and committed. It was the first time the song had actually been sung since I wrote the lyrics in 2014. I had hoped for years that it would actually become a song, rather than just a poem. I had even sought out musicians to help (with little success). I needed to take matters into my own hands and I did.
‘The Glow Song’ was born. I couldn’t be happier with the outcome. ‘The Glow Song’ has a haunting, dark-electronica feel resonates with my own tastes very well.
I had used the poem ‘Remember’ as an ambient backdrop for ‘The Glow Song’. ‘Remember’ is about secret love. It is convincingly loving and completely obsessed, all in one beautiful package. Allowing the lyrics of ‘Remember” to go unheard, would not honor the effort to illuminate shadows, so I created its own track. Now the secrets could be revealed.
By the time ‘Remember’ was complete, I was in it and I was getting deeper by the minute. The tracks began flowing out like chewy sour honey [Winks].
‘The Prize’ was a bit of a hat-tip to the early techno industrial scene. It is an expression of the shadow of anger. The few lyrics used for the song are just a fraction of the original poem, which didn’t really fit the song structure without major downsizing. Probably for the best considering the intensity of the original poem.
‘Passing Time’ clashes the techno club scene against a dissonant rock and roll feel. It is an expression of the shadow of lust. By the time I was working on this track, I was already playing with balancing order and dissonance to create strange rhythmic effects on the listener.
Then came ‘Lost Line’. This was my second production of this poem that was written as a song. My first effort was a quality spoken word version, but I was happy to re-address it and give it its proper completion as a song, while I was at it. My voice is featured heavily in this song, and I’m quite happy with the result. Lost Line is a dedication to all the infinite travelers out there.
Next was ‘Inconsequential’. This one received a lot of initial response and caused quite some stir for many who heard it. Despite its subtle but intentional irritating rub, I feel that it is probably one of the most artfully created tracks on the entire album.
‘Waking Again’ is a coming together of light and shadow. It somehow poetically illuminates the shadow of wrath in a progressive techno form. I’ve attempted to create audio with this poem twice before, but have never had satisfactory results for publishing. Rather than leave this treasure ‘along the wayside’, I’ve scooped it back up and it is a treasure now.
Next created was ‘Muted’. This is another song that highlights my voice. It is sort of a lounge music feel, with a bit more intensity. Who knew I could actually sing? I shoulda done this sooner.
Finally I created a sad song, titled ‘A Song That Is Happy’. I’m not sure quite yet, but this will probably be the last song I include on the album, making the full album only nine tracks. The song really sets a somber tone, but shadows aren’t all fairies and unicorns after all.
And with that I would like to introduce Shadows Illuminated, my own personal masterpiece. I do hope that you will enjoy it even a fraction of what I do.
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