Just enough time for a breath.
Lifetimes sometimes seem to pass in moments, while some moments seem to last lifetimes. Life seems short and precious, while also rich with unlimited possibilities. For many, life is gone in a flash and many face death feeling unfilled and regretful about a life not lived to its fullest.
It is as if we might have squandered the greatest miracle --the ability to consciously experience an infinite universe--. Life had offered us joys and pains, love and suffering, passion and great experiences of a beautiful world and human connection. Had I really made the most of it? Had I loved fully? Had I fulfilled my divine purpose? Had I created what I hoped? Had I bettered the world? Had I left my mark?
After a living a typical enough American family life for the entirety of my adulthood, depression and suicidal thoughts led me to such questions. My own ‘dark night of the soul’ became a turning point in my existence and moved me toward a path of complete personal transformation. In June of 2011, I made a deeply felt commitment to place myself onto a path of devotional service. I vowed to no longer work for dollars, but to answer directly to spirit’s calling and work to fulfill spirit’s will for the highest good.
June marks seven years since I made this personal vow and commitment to spirit.
Many would consider me to be pretty crazy, pretty wounded, and pretty lost. Those opinions have their validity. It does seem pretty crazy to ditch a career and material existence that most would consider quite successful. My own exploration of transcendental planes certainly made me ungrounded from a “normal” rational (or irrational as the case may be) world.
Outside of the opinions of others, my commitment was still strong. It felt there was no other hope but to try to create it myself. It was an unknown path to me, something completely outside of my prior experience. I lacked in all of the skill necessary to live such a free and uncertain lifestyle. In stepping so completely onto the new path, I would need to learn and grow as I went. In some ways it was as if I was equipped only with courage (or desperate foolishness). I had no idea where this trail would lead me.
Today I am pausing all my projects to reflect on the transformation I have been through in the last seven years. In initially seeking to answer all the deep questions about my life lived, I was regretful and unfulfilled. I was filled with doubt. Seven years later, I am a transformed individual. A lifetime has passed (it seems like many) and I can look back with great certainty about where I have been and what I have accomplished. If I were to face death today, I would die a happy and fulfilled man. I would die knowing that I lived authentically and had made the very most of my life.
I’ve apparently learned many lessons along the way. One I hope to share is to the many people who feel stuck or stagnant in their life; to those who feel they’re not living to the fullest. Personal transformation is within your power. In order to succeed, your commitment must be full and authentic, for you will be tested at every turn. The path you choose is not necessarily easy, while it is worthwhile. Perhaps most importantly, to change your life, YOU must change YOURSELF.
Let go of the idea of who you believe you are or who you ‘must be’ for others, and step into living the life of who you would like to be. You may be surprised of your own ability to adapt and grow.
Apparently a ‘jubilee’ is a festival from older times, where every seven years, all crops were not harvested, but turned back into the soil. All debts were forgiven (aside from indentured servitude). Even our own bodies are said to have replaced every cell within seven years, making us entirely new physical beings. This month signifies a personal jubilee for me. I have completed a major lifelong commitment. I can now celebrate what I have accomplished and look forward into a totally new chapter.
Will I renew my vow to devotional service? To me, this commitment was always a life of servitude. It does not expire. I will certainly continue along my journey of living in the present and making a meaningful difference where I can. I will continue creating and sharing my art and my love. I do feel that I am at a turning point.
Temporarily feeling ‘a completion’ of my commitment and at a really good place in my life today, I know that I move forward as a changed being. I now know and love myself. I am confident and happy. I feel in-tune with my own gifts and enjoy sharing them with others. I feel as though I know “my place” in the world. I have found my joy. I am home.
Here is my review of personal accomplishments over the last seven years:
Publications:
Spirit Work (2011)
How to Create a New Earth
How to Create a New Earth (Spoken Word Video Series)
Spiritual Slut – Lamentations & Love Songs by Cedar Branches
Love of a Mystic
Spirit Work, Too
Applied Karmic Magic
Wander
Heal
Shadows Illuminated
Descended Masters
Collaborations:
How to Create a New Earth – Musical Version (w/Mike Antone, Jason Bohl, and
Shadows Illuminated, the Live Performance (w/Ines Maricle)
As I Become Still (w/Eroca Gabriel)
Oceans of Clouds (w/Nino Arsovski & Ines Maricle)
Websites
Larger Than Life Photography on SmugMug.com
LiveLarger on Blurb.com
Cedarbranches on YouTube
Cedar Branches Home on Wix.com
Shadows Illuminated on Wix.com
Cedar Branches Spoken Word on GigSalad.com
Cedar Branches on CDBaby.com
Additional groups, pages, and blogs (not already mentioned):
Mystical Masters on Facebook
Crystal Grid Masters on Facebook
Supprt Artists on Facebook
Larger Than Life Photography on Facebook
Shadows Illuminated Blog
Interviews, Reviews, etc
There’s a Rock for That Interview (x2)
Mystical Musings Interview
Shadows Illuminated Album Review by Unigon Plane
Places Visited:
Cusco, PE
Buenos Aires, Argentina
Washington, US
California, US
Texas, US
Nevada, US
South Dakota, US
North Carolina, US
Arkansas, US
Arizona, US
Oregon, US
British Columbia, CA
Teotihuacan, MX